Three Months Down...

And the last of my medical news came in today: the chest x-rays were clear. No metastasis in my rib. So far, so good. Only nineteen years and nine months to go :)!

Yet More Human Maintenance (with a Nod to Rafia)

The past couple of weeks have again been very busy with medical stuff. On Friday a week ago (9/17), I had my first posttreatment bone and CT scans done. I arrived at the hospital at 8:30 when they asked me to, and even though I'm 47 and have not menstruated since November 2009 (because of my treatment pushing me into an early menopause), they felt they had to give me a pregnancy test. So that took about an hour, after a half hour to get registered. At 10, they gave me the shot with the radioactive stuff for the bone scan, which had to be in my body for two hours before they could do the scan. So sat and waited. Again. I got the bone scan, which takes about 45 minutes and goes from head to toe and is actually pretty relaxing. Around 1 -- and remember, I had to fast for all this, so I've had NOTHING to eat, just some water -- the radiology guy handed me over to the CT guy, who gave me about 1.5 liters of water that he put something in (I thought he said steroids?), and he told me I had to drink it all down and wait an hour and a half before I could have the CT scan because all this stuff had to reach my lower intestines. So I sat and waited. Again. And went to the bathroom. A lot. I had the CT scan, which took only about 5 minutes and was finally out of there at around 3:30, feeling rather ill from lack of food and whatever was in that water. I came home, had a quick snack, and laid down for a bit before having some lovely soup that Kyle made for dinner.

On Monday, I saw my primary care physician for my yearly exam/checkup. Here's what she had to say:

1. My bloodwork looked really good. Cholesterol, liver and kidney function, counts -- all were great. Except my thyroid numbers. Evidently, it's not uncommon for women going through menopause to lose thyroid function to some extent. My numbers were very low. So now I'm on something called Armour. Hopefully, it will help my thyroid function and increase my metabolism, giving me more energy and helping me to lose weight.
2. To prevent recurrence of my cancer, I need to eat 7-9 servings of fruits and veggies a day. That's like four cups. I'm supposed to stay away from bananas, guava, mangos, and a couple of others because they have too much sugar. Really good for me are the following (all must be organic): any kind of berries, cruciferous veggies, greens, apples, citrus fruit, something called broccosprouts (which I have yet to find), and others. Also good are pumpkin seeds and other nuts and grains. I need to limit my intake of refined sugars and red meat. So basically, it's a sensible diet. I'm enjoying it so far.
3. To reduce inflammation of my mucous membranes in certain parts of my body, and to stabilize my hormones a bit, I'll be getting a vaginal cream with minute traces of estradiol and testosterone. I know. Seems weird, but I'm told it works. I was supposed to do this saliva test that costs $150 and that takes A LOT of saliva as a baseline test for my hormone levels. See below for my decision on that.
4. Also to help prevent recurrence of my cancer, she put me on a fish oil supplement and doubled my intake of vitamin D (to 2000 IU per day).

Just this past Friday, I saw Dr. Krekow for the first time in three months. I actually became more than a bit annoyed, much as I like her, since she kept me waiting almost an hour and a half. And I had a morning appointment! Grrrr. I just sat there and watched the minutes tick away and got more and more steamed. I mean, this is my vacation time I'm using now since I'm out of sick time again! Anyway, once she finally arrived we had a nice chat. Here's what she had to say:

1. My chances of a complete cure (i.e., the cancer NEVER returns) are 60%-75%. I thought I remembered her saying that from the very beginning, but I wasn't sure, so I asked her again.
2. That said, every year that goes by with no cancer means the likelihood of it coming back decreases.
3. With the "personality" of the type of cancer I have, she will not say that I'm "cured" at five years, or even ten years. She's seen this type come back as late as 15-18 years after initial diagnosis, so she said she would not use the word "cure" until after 20 years. That means I will not be able to breathe easily and forget this nightmare until/if I reach 67.
4. She said that my numbers look really good, and that I look very healthy. She also thought that I'm healing quite well from the implant surgery.
5. My bone and CT scans looked great overall except for one very small spot on my fourth rib on the left side, basically directly under my mastectomy incision, where the rib joins the sternum. She said that the spot is probably some inflammation from radiation (I also have some areas of my left lung that are inflamed), but she ordered a series of chest x-rays just to rule out the very slight chance that it's metastasis, which I had done on Friday afternoon. I should have results from those tomorrow or Tuesday.
6. I asked her about the saliva test and whether it would be all that much more accurate than blood levels. I really didn't want to do it because (a) it's very expensive and (be) it would be a huge pain in the butt to spit in this vial for about an hour to give them enough saliva for the test. Dr. Krekow said that blood levels would be accurate, so she ordered those tests.
7. I will stay on Tamoxifen for probably another two years and then switch to Femara. It is more effective at reducing the chance of recurrence, but I cannot take it until my ovaries are completely shut down.

That's about it for now. Everything at work is going well, just very busy with the beginning of the semester. We've had one of our best friends, Mike Larson, visiting since Friday night and have had a blast with him as we always do. He will head out on Tuesday to the deep south of Texas to visit his grandma for half a week. I hope all is well with you. Peace, Jody

New Tatas -- Ta Dah!

The past month or more has been a bit of a whirlwind. As you may recall, I saw my plastic surgeon, Dr. Heistein, about halfway through radiation. He was amazed at how well my skin was doing, so we went ahead and scheduled the surgery to remove the tissue expander on my left side and put in permanent implants on both sides. I also had made an appointment with my oncologist for my first posttreatment checkup, and she wanted me to have a mammogram, bone scan, and CT scan before that checkup. So one day around mid August I'm chatting with my friend Gretchen about all this, and she pointed out that I might want to get the mammogram on my right side before I get the implant. I can't believe I hadn't thought about that! Thank the FSM that Gretchen is a very smart woman, obviously a better planner than me! I called my oncologist's office and asked The Good Nurse Sue if I should have the mammogram before my implant surgery, and the answer was a vehement YES.

So now I'm under a time crunch to get the mammogram. The earliest I could schedule it was exactly a week before my surgery: mammogram, August 18, surgery, August 25. I go in for the mammogram, a diagnostic one, and the radiologist calls me in and says first that everything looks fine. Whew. Then he says that there's this one tiny area of calcification that's questionable, deep in my breast, close to the chest wall. The only reason he's hesitating over it is because the same area in last year's image is not as clear, so he can't tell for sure whether it was there then. He recommends follow-up at six months. Now I had it in my head at the time that I was going to be getting a breast MRI later, along with the CT scan, etc. So I called my oncologist and spoke to her P.A., Lisa, who checked my chart and said that no, Dr. Krekow had not put down that she wanted me to have a breast MRI. Even if she did, Lisa said that it wouldn't give us any more info than the mammogram did for a calcification. And even then, I CAN'T have an MRI because I have a tissue expander with a metal valve! In talking with her about all this and about the fact that I was scheduled to get my implants in less than a week, she posited that I might want to go ahead and get a biopsy. My mood at this point is getting more and more bleak. I called the mammogram place, Solis, and told them that I needed to schedule a biopsy and my oncologist would fax the order over soon. They said the earliest they could get me in was Monday, August 23, that it would take that long to get clearance for the biopsy from my insurance company. Tick-tock.

I called Dr. Heistein's office and explained the situation to them. One of his nurses said she would relay all the information to him and have him call me. At this point, I'm kind of leaning toward not having the biopsy because it doesn't seem like I'm going to get results from it before my surgery has to be done. It's now around 5 p.m., and Dr. Heistein calls. He told me that it was up to me as to whether to do the biopsy, but he also said that if I were a member of his family, he'd advise going ahead, just for the peace of mind. "Because," he says, "the chances of your actually having something bad there are minuscule." I point out to him that we may not get results by COB Tuesday when we need them since my surgery is scheduled for 7 a.m. on Wednesday. He says he'll call Solis to see if he can get my biopsy scheduled earlier.

The next morning (Thursday, 8/19), I'm getting ready for work and my phone rings. It's Solis, asking if I can come in that afternoon at 1 p.m. for my biopsy! Yay! Somehow when a doctor calls and says it's got to be done sooner, all other problems and complexities melt away. So I show up that afternoon and have the joy of having another stereotactic biopsy done, explained and described fully in a previous post, so I won't go into the details again, except to say that when I arrived, the tech was very doubtful that they could get the exact sample they wanted to get because the area was so small and so deep. She said if they couldn't get it, I'd have to have surgery to have a biopsy. My mood gets bleaker still, even though I didn't think it possible. After 45 minutes of extreme discomfort for me, however, the tech and the radiologist seem to think that they have a sample with the calcifications. The tech goes to take an X-ray of it, and returns triumphant. They place a marker in me, bandage me up, and take a couple of mammograms to be sure all looks good. It's over and I go home for the rest of the day. I am happy that it's done and I don't have to fret about facing it all weekend as I would have if I had had to wait to get it done on Monday. I still have to await results, but I've gotten pretty good at putting that out of my mind and being patient.

I get a call from Solis Monday morning while I'm teaching a class. I actually forgot about the call until about an hour after the class (my caller ID didn't ID the call, just gave me a number I didn't know). So I check my messages call them back immediately. O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! It's benign! I can have my surgery as scheduled on Wednesday!

After all this tension and angst, I was almost giddy walking into the hospital on Wednesday morning. Well, I would have been giddy had it not been 5:30 in the morning. So mostly, I was bleary-eyed. But I was also somewhat giddy and excited and joyful that I was going to get rid of the damned tissue expander and get my implants! In other words, my mood could not have been more opposite of what it was last September 2nd when I had my mastectomy. Surgery started on time (7 a.m.), I was in recovery by 8:45, waking up by 9-ish, and leaving around 10. The pain was kind of bad but not horrible; it stayed that way most of Wednesday. I couldn't lie on either side, and I'm not comfortable sleeping on my back, but I did. Kyle and I both slept most of the day, in fact.

The next day, I felt a lot better and was able to lie on my sides, gingerly. By Friday, I was able to stop taking pain meds, and by Saturday, I just had some lingering soreness and achiness, but mostly I was just really, really tired. I worked from home most of this week except for Tuesday when the library had several big academic-year kick-off events planned that I needed to be there for. I went in and worked a full day today as well.

Thanks once again to Kyle for taking care of me, cooking for me, and helping me. And thanks to my coworkers for filling in for me without complaint. Peace, Jody.

Visit to Monroe

This post won't be long because it's late and I have to get up early for a busy start to a busy week tomorrow. But I wanted to write about visiting my brother-in-law, Paul, this weekend. We drove over on Friday, and I must say that it was difficult being there again. I've only been there twice since my sister died; the last time was just for one night when we were moving down here from Michigan, so I think I was so keyed up about the move that being there didn't register much. My sister's house is almost exactly as she left it, and I can see her everywhere I look when I'm there -- quite literally, since Paul still has about 10 pictures of her just in the living room, even more elsewhere. Ann's presence absolutely permeates that house, which is not a bad thing, but it's almost like a sweet torment being there. I feel so close to her being surrounded by all that she loved so much, but the one thing that would make me happiest is lacking.

And it's not just Ann whom I think about while spending time there, but my mother also, of course. Some of her furniture is still there; we sleep in her bed, in fact. I see her not just in that house but in so many of the places around town -- a wholesale music supply company where she once worked, the site of a Sealtest ice-cream shop we used to go to, a store where we'd shopped together many, many times. I miss my mother so much, but the ache inside me for her isn't as keen and sharp as it is for my sister. I'm not sure why but I think part of it is because even though it was devastating to lose my mother, I was prepared for her death somewhat. I knew it was coming at least. This was not at all the case for my sister -- a 49-year-old athletic, slim nonsmoker who'd never had a serious illness in her life. But who nevertheless dropped dead on October 13, 2006, as though she'd been simply shut down like a machine. I am still trying to wrap my head around it. I don't know that I ever truly will.

Peace, Jody

The Dog Days . . .

I posted this screen capture on my Facebook page and thought I'd share it with you here as well. We have a searing ball of nuclear fusion in the sky that other peoples on earth know as the sun, but that we in the South are now avoiding at all costs since even a few seconds of exposure will render one down into a large puddle of sweat and blistered skin.

I kid, obviously. But it is very, very hot. The kind of hot that makes you draw the blinds and stay inside as much as you possibly can. I was hand-washing some of my delicates today and thought it might be easier to rinse them outside on the deck. Hah! What an idiot I am. I was out there for around three minutes and thought I was going to pass out.

Since my last actual newsy post, I've been to DC and had a very busy July. ALA was a blast! I got to see my best buddies Mike and Jerry several times, and I met lots of new people in library land: Maura (and her bf Matt, who is getting his PhD in Am Studies), Laura, David, and Kristin. My poster session went very well. I had around 30 people stop by to chat and ask me about my work, which is probably more than would have shown up if I were giving an actual presentation. The weather was good, if a bit hot, and I managed to keep my energy up pretty well, even though I was only about a week out of radiation. I finally ran out of steam the third evening we were there and went to bed around 8 p.m. The last day, a bunch of us got a "professional" tour of the Library of Congress, much more behind the scenes than the public tour. It was really interesting! I'm glad we took the time to arrange it in advance (if you are a librarian and ever want to do this, be sure to go to the LoC's website at least a month before your trip to request the professional tour).

I mentioned in my last post that I was on a search committee for an information literacy librarian -- we have since completed our interviews and offered the post to a woman I liked very much. She will be starting at our library tomorrow, and I know she will be a great addition! I'm pleased we were able to find someone so well suited to our workplace.

My health continues about the same. I am slowly getting back to normal but don't feel that I'm there yet. Frankly, I wonder if I ever will be. I tire much more easily than I ever have, and I've been experiencing some mild to moderate joint pain since about halfway through radiation. I've spoken with my oncology nurse and my radiation oncologist about it, and they say that they don't think it's metastasis on the basis of my description (stiffness in joints throughout my body that goes away after I'm up and about for more than a few minutes, intermittent pain that varies in intensity). As it turns out, I was misremembering about my scans and checkups last time I posted. I will be seeing my plastic surgeon this month and getting my last surgery on August 25th, barring any problems, but I don't start the other stuff until September. So I guess I will find out then what's up with this joint pain. I hope so, anyway.

Right after returning from ALA in DC, one of my good friends and closest colleagues at work, Eric, was offered a position at a small, private Catholic college in Austin. He and his wife both got their undergrad degrees at UT Austin, and they've been longing to get back there, plus the pay at the new job was very generous, so he will be leaving us soon to start that position. I am very sorry to see him go, but I know we will stay in touch. I am helping to cover some of his liaison responsibilities (Rafia and I are going to share the instruction and consultation duties for the curriculum and instruction half of the College of Education), so that will mean that I'm going to be busier than ever this fall. The VERY good news, however, is that Eric's position was approved for refunding by the muckety-muck university hiring committee, so at least we will be able to hire someone to replace him. With the budget cuts we've been experiencing, it was by no means certain that this would happen! If you know an academic librarian with an education background, please give him/her a heads up to be on the lookout for the job posting here. It should be up pretty soon. In fact, we have a position up there right now for a science and engineering librarian. So pass that link along if you know anyone who might be interested!

Yesterday, we went to a BBQ at the house of some friends we play Warcraft with, Paul and Renee. They live a couple of hours away in Graham, TX. We got there around 3:30-ish and stayed until around 9, ate way too much good food (brisket and pork that Paul had smoked for about 14 hours), and VERY much enjoyed visiting with Paul, Renee, and her kids. The added bonus this year (we did the same thing last year about this time) was that one of our other WoW buddies, Adrian, came up from San Marcos with his wife, Rosario. It was awesome to meet Aden (his game name) after we've spent so many years playing with him and talking online! Rosario was very sweet to put up with our gabbing almost exclusively about Warcraft the whole night :).

I'm going to sign off now so I can get on the game for a bit and spend the rest of my Sunday relaxing. Peace, Jody.

"I Fight Like a Girl"

You may remember that I mentioned here that I was photographed and interviewed for a breast cancer survivor project? It's called "I Fight Like a Girl" and the website debuted today! Click below to see our photos and read our stories.

http://www.ifightlikeagirl.info/

Click on "See More" to find my page, or just follow this link:

http://www.ifightlikeagirl.info/jody

Please feel free to share "I Fight Like a Girl" with others who may enjoy it or find it useful!

A Day to Celebrate!

At long last, I am done with all cancer treatments! I finished radiation therapy yesterday. Since I started chemo in early October, this means that I've endured and survived eight months of intensive treatment. I am very VERY glad to be done with this part of my journey, but I still have the last part of my reconstructive surgery to get through. So starting in July/August, I will be busy with my regular yearly checkup; a full-body MRI, bonescan, and CT scan; bloodwork (they will look for tumor markers); followups with all three of my cancer-related docs; and the decision as to whether to go ahead with the final reconstruction on August 25. I am very thankful to have survived thus far and so grateful for the support of Kyle and all of you. Though I am relieved to be done with treatment, I will not breathe easily until (or if) I reach the five-year cancer-free mark. As I have said often in this blog, I don't mean to be negative, just honest and realistic.

The second big piece of news is that we sold our house in Michigan! Good lord, what a relief. And right up front, I want to give all the credit to my mother-in-law, Carol, who I hope will be long blessed by whatever god(s), saints, or fates there may be. She and Kyle and my father-in-law did everything regarding this transaction. I decided early on that I could focus on only one extremely stressful thing at a time, and since I was the one with CANCER, it seemed that that should be my focus :). I completely put the sale of the house out of my mind except for the occasional times that Kyle mentioned it to me. Honestly, it was the first time in my life that I really was able to completely NOT think about something that stressful -- well, to be honest, I did think about it at the beginning of each month for the past year when rent and mortgage payments completely ate up my paycheck. But I just tried to breathe deeply and not worry. So last Wednesday, we closed on the sale. The people who bought the house do not have pristine credit and so could not get a traditional mortgage. Carol was able to broker a land-contract (aka owner-financed) deal, which although risky, is certainly better than nothing! In essence, we will continue to pay our mortgage, but the new owners will be paying us each month. Even though we still have the mortgage, we technically no longer own the house, and so they are responsible for any repairs and maintenance that is needed. Carol is a very good judge of character and said that she really trusts that these people will do what they are now contractually obligated to do. Also, they are paying us a higher interest rate than we pay our mortgage company, so we will theoretically -- if all goes as it should -- actually make money on this sale eventually, which we would not have done had the buyers been able to get a traditional mortgage. So we all need to keep our fingers crossed and hope that everything goes well!

On to more mundane news: my skin has continued to do pretty well with the radiation treatments. I have had only mild tenderness and peeling, similar to what one would get after a sunburn, on the upper-left quadrant of my chest. I was quite puzzled by a rectangular-shaped red area on the upper-left quadrant of my back and so asked one of the radiation techs about it yesterday. She said it is the burn from where the radiation has been *exiting* my body. I never thought about the fact that it goes out the back, lol! So I'm a bit itchy on my back as well. My radiation nurse told me yesterday that I can expect the side effects to continue for two weeks and then start to get better. She also said that I have to be extremely careful about sun and wind exposure for the next year -- I'm supposed to wear sunscreen *under* my clothing now since fabric doesn't always block UVA and UVB rays. I also went to the dentist (my cousin Van in Fort Worth) for a checkup and cleaning last week, and he said I didn't need to have any work done, which I was actually surprised by. The chemo and all the anti-side-effect drugs had made my mouth SO dry for SO many months that I thought surely I would have some bad decay. But Van said we just need to keep an eye on one tooth and that was it. So, yay!

Work is going well, as usual. I am now very busy with committee work: I'm on a search committee for a new librarian in our Information Literacy Program Area (these are the folks who work mainly with first-year students), and week after next, we will be starting the interview process with our top four candidates. Each interview lasts about a day and a half with the candidates meeting multiple groups/people in the library, giving a presentation, going out to dinner, as well as meeting with the search committee for 2+ hours. That week, we will have two candidates in, the following week we will have one, and the last week of June, the final candidate will be on campus. I also have several instruction sessions coming up before I go to the ALA conference in DC June 24-28, and I am on another committee that is setting up guidelines for digitizing collections both within the library and across the campus. What did I say in my last post about summer being slower??

We had so much fun last Sunday at the Memorial Day party that Gretchen organized and hosted at her parents house; the photos I put at the start of this post were taken there. Since they have a pool and were agreeable to us all descending on them like locusts, we totally could not resist. It was a hot, sunny day -- perfect for the pool! I stayed in the shade most of the day and wore a short-sleeved turtleneck and swim shorts to keep covered, but I did allow myself to swim in the refreshing water for a short while. Gretchen smoked a huge brisket, baby-back ribs, and home-made sausage -- everything was SO delicious! Gretchen and her mom even invited our dogs, so they had lots of fun running around and playing with everyone. It was a great day :).

On a more somber note, I have several times lately been close to tears regarding the tragedy in the Gulf. I consider myself a Louisianian after having lived there for 20+ years, and to see the lifeblood of that state being ravaged because of corporate greed and malfeasance and idiocy, as well as (at best) neglect and (at worst) active illegal activity within the federal agency that oversees drilling -- it's almost overwhelming. I really do not understand how the U.S. Gulf region and surrounding nations will recover from this disaster in my lifetime, even if I happen to live to a ripe old age. I have heard that some are comparing this event to Chernobyl; it seems much, much worse to me.

That's about it for now. I hope you are happy and well. Peace, Jody.

Am I Glowing Yet?

So I thought I'd upload some new photos for those of you who aren't on Facebook. The little black dog is the one I referred to in my last post who followed Kyle and Lightning home. We have decided to keep him, and his name is Thunder, of course. He is VERY sweet and funny, and I am happy to finally have a dog who loves to cuddle after living many years with two dogs who didn't/don't (as much as I love(d) Christmas and Lightning, neither one likes(d) to snuggle). Kyle tells me that I'm spoiling Thunder already, which I doubtless am, because I allow him up on the bed in the evening before I go to sleep. In fact, our ritual has become that both dogs and Kyle hang out with me on the bed at night before all three kiss me goodnight and then leave me to sleep in peace. Of course, Kyle isn't doing ANYthing that would spoil Thunder at all (hah!).

Updates on my treatment: In my last post, I mentioned that I would ask Dr. Krekow her opinion of Dr. John. As I expected she said he is very competent, but she agreed that his bedside manner leaves much to be desired. With that reassurance, I was ready to start radiation. Dr. Krekow also said that I would not see her again for six months (maybe it was three?) unless I had problems, and before I see her again, I will have a mammography, CT scan, bone scan, and MRI to check for metastasis(es).

I was supposed to start radiation on April 19, but Dr. John's office had a huge computer SNAFU, so I was unable to start until April 22, which will push back my ending date. I am currently just over halfway through. The treatments are very fast (usually about 30 minutes from start to finish) and painless. I have so far been extremely blessed by the fact that I have had almost no side effects at the treatment site; my skin is a bit pink and only very slightly itchy. I can only hope that it stays this way.

I saw my plastic surgeon, Dr. Heistein, on Friday for a six-month checkup on my status in general and my tissue expander and condition of my skin in particular. He was amazed that my skin is doing as well as it is, so I talked with him about doing my last surgery earlier than what he normally recommends, which is six months after completing radiation. I would like to get it done sooner for two reasons: (a) the tissue expander is still uncomfortable and awkward-feeling, and (b) we have already paid my hefty surgery deductible ($2000) for the year, so if I have the surgery before September 1, we won't have to pay it again (since I work at a university, our insurance year runs from Sept. 1 through Aug. 31). I emphasized to him that I don't want to endanger myself or have a bad outcome, but if it's possible to do this thing in August, I'd like to. He said that he didn't think it would be problematic, especially since my skin is doing so well this far into my radiation treatments. So I have scheduled another check-up with him for August 9, and if he thinks that I look good then, we will go ahead with the final stage of reconstruction (permanent implants in both breasts) on August 25. It's not an ideal date in terms of my work, since August 26 is the first day of classes, but it is outpatient surgery and they say I will only need to be off work for a week or so -- not too bad.

With all that news covered, I will say that for the most part, I am feeling well. I was having some issues with pretty bad joint pain in my lower body -- back, hips, knees, and feet. I talked to Dr. John about it, and he said that it was not due to radiation. He thought that perhaps I had a slight flu that was manifesting itself in this very mild way since my blood work is and has been totally fine, and I have not had fever or any other symptoms. This pain seems to be getting better, but it's not completely gone. Other than that, I am tired most of the time, and I'm still having some internal issues from the chemo, but that's to be expected (Dr. Krekow told me that it will take a year or more before all the side effects from the chemo are gone).

Work is going well. I am actually very happy that the semester is over as of this past Friday since it will give me a chance to breathe and catch up. As I believe I have mentioned here, I am presenting a poster session at the American Library Association's Annual Meeting in Washington, DC, in late June. So I have been working on gathering the data for that, and now Kyle is helping me put together my poster. (Some of you may not know or remember that he was a graphic designer by profession before we moved to Michigan, so he still has all those skills, which means I will have a killer poster. Woot!) I am really looking forward to going to DC; it's my favorite city in the world, and of course two of my best friends live there, Mike Larson & Jerry Maready. My former boss at APA and still a great friend, Mike Cannon, also lives in the area, but not in DC proper, so I hope he might have the chance to come down for a visit since I doubt I would be able to get up to where he is (Frederick, MD).

The big deal for the past week or so at work has been that the third floor of the library, where my office happens to be, will be undergoing a complete renovation over the next six weeks -- ceilings torn out so that a new sprinkler system can be installed, new flooring, paint, the works. So my neighbors, Eric and Rafia, and I had to move all our stuff this past week to the fifth floor, where our temporary digs will be. Admin has arranged for movers to come in tomorrow and move all our enormous furniture up -- thank goodness we don't have to touch any of that. But it was very exhausting having to pack and move all my books and other stuff. I found out after I had done it all myself that our all-around exployee/helper extraordinaire, Mako, and her student workers were going to help me, lol. So it was stupid on my part to have done it all, but at least it's done and I think I've recovered. Mostly.

Kyle and I celebrated our 10th anniversary this week, May 13. We had a wonderful dinner, and he gave me the most beautiful card on which he wrote some very dear and loving words that mean a great deal to me. We decided that that would be all we would do in celebration until I am finished with radiation and the house deal is settled (it looks like we may be selling it, but I'm not talking about it too much until the deal is done and all papers are signed).

That's about all I can think of for now. I will try to post more often now that things have slowed somewhat at work. I love you all and wish you a very happy spring. Peace, Jody.

Final Chemo! Hopefully forever?

So the big news with this post is that I had my FINAL CHEMO yesterday! Woo-hooo. As I implied in the title of this post, I hope that means my very final chemo, forever the last one. But there is no guarantee. What makes me nervous, and I think I've mentioned this here before, is that my cancer is almost exactly like my mother's, who died from it about 5.5 years after her initial diagnosis. I don't remember exactly how long it was between the end of her initial chemo (i.e., where I am now) and the discovery of the cancer's first metastasis in her spine (it later got into her liver and her femurs and the skin near her left eye). I don't want to seem like I'm being negative -- honest, rather, in what I'm thinking about and feeling.

I am very happy to have finished chemo. It was a challenge like none I've ever faced. The Big Bad (Epirubicin, Cytoxan, and 5-FU) during the fall months was particularly difficult, as those who've been following my blog since the beginning probably know. I won't go into the litany of side effects from those drugs; it's too depressing and long. The ensuing protocol that I've been on since January 8 (Taxol) has been blessedly easier, although not without its share of side effects. These have included intermittent but fairly major numbness in my right toes and foot, with very minor numbness in my left toes. I have had NO nausea or vomiting and only minor constipation on this drug, but the fatigue has, on occasion, been almost overwhelming, and the steroid-induced insomnia on Friday nights VERY annoying. All in all, I can only wish that anyone having to take Taxol has it as easy as I have. I know that not everyone does; in particular, I met a woman who had lost a few toenails because of it.

I'm sure I've written here about what the rest of my treatment will be like, but I will go over it again in case you've forgotten. I have already had two consultations with my radiation oncologist. I am not going to the one affiliated with the Breast Care Center of North Texas where Dr. Brian (my surgeon) and Dr. Krekow (my oncologist) practice, mainly because their office is so far for me to drive to every day. They referred me to a practice that is right on my way to and from work, so I will save a lot of time and gas. Dr. Krekow tells me that Dr. John (no, not that "Right Place, Wrong Time" Dr. John :)) is very competent, and she's always been pleased with the care that he gives. I did meet once with the radiation oncologist associated with Dr. Krekow (her name is Dr. Tomberlin) right after my surgery last September and liked her very much, more so than Dr. John who is an older man, very noncommunicative, brusque, and cold. I mean, he will answer questions but doesn't volunteer much at all and does not seem very caring. The technicians I have met at this facility, on the other hand, have been very friendly and caring, and they will be the ones I will be mostly dealing with. I have a chemo wrap-up meeting with Dr. Krekow on April 16 and am planning on asking her opinion of Dr. John again. I can deal with someone who has a bad bedside manner as long as I know he's competent :). So the schedule is a walk-through of radiation on April 14, and then I begin actual treatment on April 19; it will last for six weeks, and I will have to go every day (M-F). They tell me that total turnaround time is about an hour from when I walk in the door, but the actual treatment is under 10 minutes. The predicted side effects will not kick in until about three weeks into treatment and will include skin irritation at the site (anything from a tan-like effect to a sunburn-like redness and blistering) plus fatigue that will be mild at first but get worse. No nausea or vomiting or other stomach problems are associated with the treatment I will be getting (people who get radiation in the abdomen area do have those problems). There are other side effects, but they are rare, so hopefully I won't have to think or talk about them at all. Dr. John said that the radiation beam will be going in at three places: one beam directed at exactly where my breast tumor was, another under my arm where the smaller tumor and affected lymph nodes were, and the last between my left shoulder and collar bone to treat the rest of my lymph nodes. So if I'm looking at the calendar correctly, I should finish with radiation treatments on May 28 as long as I don't have to skip any days because of illness, absence, or severe side effects. To complete the whole shebang, I will have to have surgery again six months after radiation is complete (to allow time for my skin to heal). This surgery will involve replacement of the tissue expander where my left breast was with a permanent silicone implant and placement of a much smaller implant on the right side so that my breasts will (hopefully) be even, both in size and in where they sit on my chest. Currently, the tissue expander sits much higher than my natural (right) breast, and it looks really stupid if I'm not wearing a bra.

In other news, about a month ago I made a new friend at the infusion room. She is also a breast cancer patient but started her chemo only recently (I guess about six weeks ago?). Her treatment is similar to mine but not quite as long and not as many drugs (her cancer was not as advanced and she is triple negative, which means that her cancer does not have receptors for progesterone, estrogen, or HER2NEU; my cancer is estrogen-positive, which is why I'll be on an estrogen-blocker for the rest of my life, starting with Tamoxifen for 5 years). The interesting coincidence is that she's a copyeditor, too, so we have lots to talk about besides cancer, which is nice. So a big shout-out to Amy, and thanks for the interesting chats :).

Kyle has, as usual, been very sweet; his good deed for the week (besides all that he always does) was making a delicious batch of chocolate peanut-butter chip cookies for me to take to chemo yesterday and share with all the caregivers who have been so good to me over the past six months: the receptionist, the phlebotomists, Dr. Krekow and Lisa (her P.A.) and nurses (though Sue was out yesterday), and the oncology nurses and staff in the infusion room. They all raved about the cookies, which I have said on several occasions are the best cookies I have ever had.

Other, noncancer-related news includes the acquisition of a new dog. This little guy, who we think is a papillon-chihuahua mix, followed Kyle home when he was out walking Lightning last Sunday. Kyle had him checked on Monday at animal control for a microchip, and they couldn't find one; furthermore, they told Kyle if he left the pup there, he would likely be euthanized because they are so overcrowded. So Kyle brought him back home and posted at Craigslist as well as several lost-dog online sites. We also made fliers that we posted all over our neighborhood, but no one has called. The dog is very sweet, very cute (solid black), and in really good condition. We are beginning to believe he was abandoned by someone who could no longer afford to keep him since no one has contacted us. We are trying to decide whether we can afford him; he will have to get all his shots and be neutered, so that's probably at least $300-$400 right there, plus all the future costs of boarding when we go out of town, vet bills, food (though he so small, he eats very little), etc. We've been thinking of getting another dog for some time, but we are so strapped for cash right now that it's going to be a difficult decision.

Gotta wrap this one up now; we are having a bunch of friends over for dinner and trivia or a movie tonight, so I need to go to the store for a few things. I hope all who celebrate it have a lovely Easter! Peace and love to you all, Jody.

It's 4 a.m. Why am I not sleeping?

The title says it all, but I will expand a bit.

It's been so long since I've written here -- my apologies. I just got a bit tired of it, and there didn't seem to be much to say. And I did state from the beginning that I would write when I want, what I want. Now in the midst of my insomnia seems as good a time as any to dash off a post.

The Taxol treatment is going swimmingly. So far, most of my big right toe is numb as is part of that foot close to that toe. I have experienced no other numbness in my extremities, which I am very happy about and grateful for. [An aside: yes, it is perfectly grammatical and acceptable to end a sentence with a preposition; please don't think I don't know what I'm doing :). ] My hair is growing back, as you can see here. So far it is dark and straight. I'm not sure whether it's darker than it was before since I had lightened it for so many years, I really don't know what my natural color was. It's hard to tell just from roots. Other side effects are really very mild and easy to deal with. One is this unfortunate insomnia one day a week: Friday nights going into Saturday mornings, which is the time now. Evidently Taxol has a high incidence of allergic reactions, so they give me both oral and IV steroids as a prophylactic. The insomnia is thus a side effect of the steroids meant to prevent allergic reactions. As has been the case from the beginning of my treatment, I have side effects from the chemo, and side effects from the drugs to counteract those side effects. And yet more drugs to treat those secondary side effects. It's very difficult at times to keep it all straight. But anyway, my usual M.O. on Friday nights and Saturday mornings is to fall asleep around 4 or 5 a.m. and wake up by 9-ish. I then will commonly have a very full, energetic day, followed by sheer exhaustion and 9-10 hours of sleep Saturday and Sunday nights. So my whole weekend is not spoiled; I'm usually just more tired than normal on Sundays, which actually carries over into Mondays and Tuesdays. I have very little stomach upset or nausea, just some days/meals that I prefer to eat something light. I pretty much eat what I want: Indian food, Tex-Mex, Italian, lots of fruits and veggies and salads, etc.

One project that I was involved in last weekend was kind of interesting. The woman who took the pictures of Kyle, Lightning, and me contacted me a few weeks ago to ask whether I would be interested in working with her and a friend of hers on a breast cancer education project. She gave me some details, comparing it to "What to Expect When You're Expecting" but for women who have had a diagnosis of breast cancer: practical advice from women who have been there, things doctors and nurses forget or don't know about. I agreed to be a part of it, and last week went to have my picture made and be interviewed by Ann's friend, Angie. The theme is going to be "I Fight Like a Girl," and Ann Beck (the photographer) took pictures of all the participants with jeans, a white T-shirt, and pink boxing gloves. I think their plan is to start as a website and see if it grows into a book, although it's still very amorphous. I told them I would be happy to do their copyediting.

I don't remember and am too lazy to go back and look to see if I mentioned that Eric, Rafia, and I had a presentation accepted at the EDUCAUSE SW Regional Conference in Austin. This is an organization that is all about IT and technology in higher ed. So we went, and our presentation went well, I think (still waiting for feedback). Unlike 99.99% of presenters at any conference in the known world these days, we did not do our presentation in PowerPoint but chose to use a new product called Prezi. I had fun making it and learning the software; I highly recommend it. Anyway, the point of this paragraph that I am finally getting to is that while we were in Austin, I went by one of the tattoo places I had found online and talked with one of the artists whose work I had been impressed by on their website. I gave her an idea of what I want, and she said she'd totally be into doing the piece. I also asked her how much it would cost and was not surprised by her answer ($500-$600) but have thought about it since then and decided that we just can't afford that right now.

We must get our house sold in Michigan. If it doesn't sell soon, we are likely to lose what little we have left in our stock portfolio and have to do a short sale or default. So, we have lowered the price yet again, and it is now below what we owe. You can see the listing here if you like. If you know of anyone who is looking for a great house in a wonderful neighborhood in Rochester Hills, MI (or the northern Detroit suburbs in general), please send them the link to the listing!

I guess I should try to get to sleep now; I hope it will happen. Much love to you all. Peace, Jody.

Photos: New Year's Eve and WIGS!

These first four above are from Gretchen's New Year's Eve Party. Rafia (the only other person besides me & Kyle in the pics) adores dressing up and brought boas for everyone. As I said, I was kind of tired before we headed out to the party and didn't bother putting on make-up or a scarf, so you can get a sense of how I look when I'm basically sitting around my house. The next few pics are obviously of me with my Fancy Hair :).

Happy New Year! What will 2010 bring??

So we are out of the aughts, and into the teens. I do sincerely hope that this decade is better than the last. Looking back, there were some positives: I got married in 2000 to the love of my life; we had a couple of amazing trips (Caribbean Cruise, France, Africa); and I got my MLIS and my job. And while still trying to think positively, I can't help but think about the bad times, too: I lost two beloved pets, my cockatiel, Bisous, right after we got back from our honeymoon, and our sweet greyhound, Christmas, who dropped dead very suddenly in 2004 at the age of 8. I was pregnant once but miscarried at the beginning of my second trimester and then spent three years going through fertility treatment, up to and including IVF, all for nothing. Shortly thereafter, my mother died, August 22, 2004. Just when I thought I was getting over that, my sister collapsed and died with no warning, October 13, 2006. And of course, I was diagnosed with stage-III breast cancer in August 2009. So enough already! Let's get on with the good stuff :).

We had a very quiet but lovely Christmas. We ended up staying home and not going over to Monroe. We decided that trying to do both Monroe and Houston would be too much, and since we had just seen Paul at Thanksgiving, and I had last seen my Houston family in May 2008 (and Kyle hadn't seen them since October 2004), we would make a short trip to Houston. So we had a quiet Christmas Eve and Day, celebrating with our friend Rafia and as a last-minute addition, our friend Erin, who couldn't make it up to Oklahoma to be with her sister because of our weather. Yes, we had a White Christmas here in Texas -- a first for many natives. We spent a quiet weekend post-Christmas, then drove down to Houston on Tuesday for two nights with my cousin Shirley and her family (son Dean; his fiancee, Leslie; daughter Karen; her husband, Doug, and Shirley's sister-in-law, Carol). We had a scrumptious dinner at Shirley's house that first night, and another wonderful meal at Karen's the next evening. Shirley was kind enough to chauffeur us down to the Houston Museum of Natural Science, where we saw a gorgeous show, "Faberge: Imperial Jeweler to the Tsars." We also got to see some of the permanent collection, but sadly the butterfly garden was closed by the time we tried to go. Thanks again for a wonderful visit, Shirley, Carol, Dean, Leslie, Karen, & Doug!

We returned home on Thursday, New Year's Eve, and attended a pot-luck party that our friend Gretchen hosted that night. I was actually kind of tired and not really in the mood going over there, but ended up having a blast. We played Rock Band, which is always hilarious, and a trivia game that Gretchen got for Christmas. We ended up staying until around 2:00. Thanks, Gretchen!

The rest of my time off was spent being rather lazy, although I did make an exhausting (to me, anyway) shopping excursion the Sunday after Christmas. I wanted to use my Macy's gift cards that my in-laws had so generously given me for my birthday (thanks, Carol & Ger!) during the post-Christmas sales, so Rafia came along for moral support (thank goodness), and helped me choose a bunch of stuff, most of which I needed (jeans, kakhis, another hat), and some of which I wanted (a couple of beautiful pullovers that I got for under $10 each).

I returned to work on Jan. 4, so I've been back for two full weeks, but they have been rather quiet since classes don't start up until next Tuesday, Jan. 18. It's been nice to have some time to get caught up and geared up for the new semester. I already have lots of requests for instructions sessions from my regular faculty, and I just found out that a colleague from another program area in our library is leaving to take a position in South Carolina, so since he does a lot of first-year instruction, Gretchen (who is in that program area) asked me if I could help fill in for him, and I said that was fine. So it seems as though I will be busy this semester with a lot of instruction, a presentation at the end of the month to the UTA Black Leadership Conference (for students), another presentation in mid-February in Austin at the EDUCAUSE SW Regional Conference (I'm doing both of these with my office neighbors Eric and Rafia), and a paper the three of us are working on for publication.

My first go-round with the new chemo protocol, Taxol, was last Friday, Jan. 8. I am getting all the same premeds plus another one, a steroid called Dexamethasone that prevents allergic reactions (I guess Taxol has a high prevalence of allergic reactions, so they just give this routinely). Last week, my side effects were lack of appetite and sleep on the first day or two (the antinausea drugs slow down my digestive system and this leads to the lack of appetite, I believe, and the steroids are uppers). I also had, as usual, bad constipation from the antinausea drugs. But I did meet with my oncologist before that first administration, and she advised me to take a stool softener every day, like Miralax. So I started doing that regularly the next day, and once things got moving again around about Tuesday or Wednesday, I felt much better. (I know this is really gross to write about, but again, if someone else out there is going through the same thing, perhaps it will prove helpful to him or her.) The only other thing I was dealing with was fatigue; I had to go in late on Monday because I was so tired and brought my computer home that evening, with the thought that I would make up the time I missed that morning by working at home, but I was just too tired. At least I was able to put in about 6 hours that day, so all told, I missed about 10 hours that first week. Much, MUCH better than missing a whole week as I did with the last Big-Bad. And no nausea, no food-smell aversions, no horrible taste and smell in general. Again, I'm told the most common side effect than can become serious with Taxol is numbness in fingers and toes, which will probably come as the drug builds up in my system. I had the second administration of the drug yesterday, and so far, all my side effects are the same. I slept horribly last night; I turned off my light around 2:30 and think I finally got to sleep around 5:00, woke up at 9:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. Hopefully I will sleep better tonight.

The only other news I can think of is that I now have pink hair. And blue hair. I decided that I was getting tired of wearing scarves and hats; I wanted something more fun. So a friend had a blue -- and I mean NEON blue -- wig that she had gotten for Halloween, and she lent me that. I liked it so much that I bought a pink wig as well. I've gotten lots of stares, but also lots of compliments, so it's been kind of fun :). I will add another post with pictures of me in the wigs and other photos. For some reason, I can't figure out how to make a picture show up in a specific place in my text, such as HERE. They all just go at the top.

This afternoon, we are going to the Kimbell Art Museum in Fort Worth. I'm excited because I always love going to museums, and we haven't visited this one yet. It's supposed to have a fine collection, and the exhibit that's up now sounds really interesting. I think we are going to try to do the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens either Sunday or Monday as well (I have Monday off for MLK Day). We haven't done a lick of sightseeing since Kyle moved down last June, which is just plain silly and stupid because there are lots of wonderful things to do and see in the DFW area. So we decided to make this a sightseeing weekend :).

Must go and shower and eat some lunch to we can be ready to go by 2:00. Have a great weekend! Peace, Jody